It’s not mentioned again and he is running around in the next scene. ‘There was a bike accident – I’ll tell you about it on the way!’ he says. He arrives to save Deb from helicopter crash number one with a limp. Jan has also been in trouble along the way too – but the scene must have been deleted. Deb survives two helicopter crashes like she’s broken a nail but then gets knocked out when her car reverses quickly. Now Go!’ Then he immediately dies.Įlsewhere, the rest of the cast are entirely made of steel. In fact, spoiler incoming… His death sequence, which is horribly misjudged, ends with him having a broken back, saying ‘California is my home. It is cringeworthy to the extreme – along with the really weird military salutes. His entire character exists to continuously say ‘California is my home, I have to save it!’. Then once we’ve had some shouting – it is back to normal service. He is well mannered and helpful until the time comes for him to be required and then he has one single scene being a complete arsehole. Characters wildly spin from one extreme to the other for just a specific scene to have a dramatic moment and then move back to normal again. There are also a few scenes where it felt like they were ad-libbing. There are moments in the film where the actors seem to trip over some lines – but they are left in. The problem is that the movie loops back around to being bad again.įirstly, lets take a look at the script and the acting. San Andreas Mega Quake is worth watching in a so bad its good kind of way. Who will survive? Will you survive? Will you care? The main trio discovers that no effects will be added to any vehicle scenes after filming… Why is it worth watching? You see as things continue to fall apart – it transpires that their last hope may well be bombing the La Brea Tar Pits to let lava fill the fissure. She barely looks like she is old enough to be in secondary school but as she rescues trapped office worker Sadie from her collapsable building, time is running out. Meanwhile, Jan and Deb’s daughter Ingrid has joined the army and is currently trying to evacuate from LA where a huge earthquake has already taken place. Along with Colonel Lochner and Sergeant Chai, the team will work together to move the cannon to the place of most effectiveness to try to stop the mega quake in its tracks. A car, a helicopter… another helicopter… and even her own cannon won’t work properly. It sucks to be Deb though because every mode of transport she gets on seems to break down. I’m assuming it is some kind of vibrator metaphor… Apparently, their marriage broke down because of the sonic cannon. Conveniently a countdown every few scenes is given on the corner of the screen. Immediately everyone seems to think this is the only logical way to stop the impending MEGA QUAKE. She’s pissed that the Government funded it then stole it from her to make it weapon instead. She made a sonic cannon that can be used to stop Earthquakes in their tracks. Tsk! However, when Jan, Christine and token black scientist Drew discover that these Earthquakes are the shallowest on record, they fear the entire west coast will slip into the Pacific ocean.Įnter Deborah. Earthquakes keep getting in the way though. Jan seems to be dating colleague Christine but she seems like she wants to call things off. In 83 minutes of utter confusion, there is a story to be told. Plenty of earthquakes, some lava, an implied tsunami, helicopters that just won’t fly, collapsing buildings, cars that just wanna crash and a very bizarre love triangle. I’d like to stare at my laptop whilst a 6.5 Earthquake hits please! The disasters faced This is easily one of the worst disaster movies committed to film – chock full of nonsensical delivery, missing story parts, jarring cuts and storylines and a slightly improvisational dialogue feel. San Andreas Mega Quake is sadly not that movie. The Asylum are a crazy bunch because sometimes when they try to be competent whilst being low budget, they can actually put together a decent movie.
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